How Can You Tell if You Are Being Abused?
Seems like a silly question, doesn’t it? Shouldn’t all abuse victims know when they are the subjects of abuse? Unfortunately, it isn’t always easy to detect, especially early in the relationship. Sometimes abuse doesn’t become obvious until one is well into a marriage or partnership and usually with a lot more at stake.
Abuse can be subtle, especially at first. You might excuse your spouse’s actions because it may seem silly to fret over something like mood swings or the fact that you are rarely able to see your friends or family. But understand that abusers know what they are doing. An abuser doesn’t “just lose” his/her temper. Abuse is calculated and controlled.
In fact, it is all about control. Control of you.
If you have any misgivings or fears about your relationship, then it is wise to ask yourself some pertinent questions.
Are you afraid? Does your partner sometimes scare you? Do you ever fear for your personal safety? Are you regularly accused of being unfaithful? Are you forced into sexual situations that you find revolting? Are your finances controlled by your partner?
Realize that in domestic abuse, degradation is the name of the game. If your partner is consistently demeaning or ridiculing you, this is abuse. If you feel consistently humiliated or fearful, then you are experiencing domestic abuse. If you are isolated and kept from your social peers; if your partner or spouse has gotten in the way of your schooling, your job or even your hobbies, or if you have no control over the car, your money or your time, you are being controlled and abused.
The best thing you can do is to become aware. Are you fearful? Isolated? Controlled? This is called domestic abuse; it will not go away. If this is happening in your life, then it is best to face it sooner rather than later.
