Recognizing Psychological Abuse
We can never really know what goes on in the private lives of friends and family and most of the time it is none of our business. However, there are some pretty sure warning signals when there may be domestic abuse or, in some cases, domestic violence going on in the lives of our close acquaintances. In these circumstances, it is wise to sit up and take notice of odd behavior.
If a good friend’s outward demeanor changes drastically you might want to ask questions. For instances, if they seem full of fear, for no apparent reason, or need to “report in” constantly to their partner/spouse. Perhaps their dialog may change to signify that their partner has become very possessive or they may even fear to say anything that will make the spouse look bad and will agree with everything that is said and done, no matter how outrageous.
If you notice that they are receiving constant and harassing phone calls when they are visiting or suddenly seem very depressed or even suicidal, then there could very well be serious abuse going on in their private life. Or if suddenly they are not “allowed” to see people, can’t go anywhere without their spouse, and have little or no access to a car or to money, then it’s “Houston, we may have a problem” time.
As a friend, it is your duty to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to be straightforward but be sure that your friend knows that your discussion is private and just between the two of you. It is your duty to speak out if you suspect abuse and see these kinds of psychological signs. Realize that if your suspicions are true, then your friend is caught in a dangerous trap and may feel there is no hope and that no one cares. When you speak up, not only will you show that someone cares, but you just might save his/her life.
