When the Victim of Domestic Violence is a Man
When most of us think of domestic violence, we think of battered women, used and physically abused by husbands or lovers. To the average person such a despicable and horrendous act is worthy of criminal prosecution. And yet, as hard as it is to believe, many victims of domestic violence are men. In fact over 3 million men per year are physically assaulted by a partner/spouse.
We do not often hear of battered men because, in the first place, many do not believe them. Many times when a man calls a help line they are told that the help is only for women. When a woman is a victim of domestic violence, she is always told that it is not her fault. Regrettably, men are often laughed at or made fun of by those that are supposed to help domestic abuse victims. And often, if a man is attacked by his spouse, even with a weapon, and reports it, he can be the one arrested.
There is also the “manly” issue.
Men are supposed to be stronger and able to handle the “little woman”. It can be embarrassing to acknowledge that you are being battered by your wife or girlfriend. Unfortunately, women can also pack a punch, handle a gun or knife, and inflict pain or even death. Although most assaults by females against men are relatively minor, some do result in homicide. And most abused men do not retaliate against the abuser even though they are much stronger and could inflict real damage.
Many times men are also reluctant to leave an abusive relationship because they do not want to lose their children. If they leave, they leave their children with an abusive parent. Even when the woman is the abuser, the children will usually go to her in the case of divorce.
It is necessary that the public becomes educated and made aware of male victims of domestic abuse. This is a big step toward allowing men the proper help and counseling to work toward a better life.
